"I learned to be honest
the way I learned to swim
dropped into the inevitable
my father's thumbs in my hairless armpits
about to give way
I am trying
to surface carefully
remembering
the water's shadow-legged musk
cannons of salt exploding
my nostrils' rage
and for years
my powerful breast stroke
was a declaration of war. "

Image by Brian (Inner Light Photography)
Poem by Audrey Lorde ~ "A Question of Climate"
_________


Despite my head being in my ass all day, it's been a good day. I've watched three movies (lost in translation, forrest gump, and curious case of benjamin button), had two home cooked meals, read a terrible article about some man doing mushrooms and ripping out his friends heart while he was still alive because he was trying to silence the devil (?WTF!), finally hiked to the Griffith Observatory for the first time and laid there for an hour and a half just taking it all in -- it's been a good day. (that article had nothing to do with it - just a random sidenote)

A year ago today, Cris and I were driving back to Seattle from being at Sasquatch all memorial day weekend. We left after Erykah Badu - Cris drove the majority of the way while I slept. I remember we pulled over at a gas station and slept in the car for a couple of hours before our 6 am flight back to LA. Our flight got in a little late but somehow I still made it in to work that day - no shower, smelly, and tired as fuck. I remember the drive from Seattle to the Gorge was absolutely beautiful. I remember the biker on the side of the road that kept up with us for miles because of the traffic - the snow off in the distance- the trees - the water coming out from the cracks in the huge rocks that bordered the freeway.

The day before I went to Sasquatch I found out my Nana was bleeding from the brain from an accidental fall and would have to have brain surgery - she was 96. She died June 7th. -- The same exact time that all of this was going on with my Nana, I found out that one of my closest friends had a snowboarding accident in Canada and was recovering from the same injury (bleeding in the brain) as my Nana. She, my age, lived. It's a little weird being at the one year anniversary of all this. Feeling very disconnected - a little numb - weary of my emotions in the days to come.

I think if I walked around with the same openness that I display in this blog I'd have more random encounters. I am much more open here than I am out in the real world. When I was much younger I seemed to just attract randomness. Hitchhikers often found their way into my car - bums would come sit at my table outside Riverside coffee shops - just weird shit, all the time. Adulthood has jaded me I think - I very much believe it is a causative relationship. I am much more controlling of the encounters I have these days. In the near future I would like to make the effort to meet someone new everyday - maybe when I return from my vaycay in the woods I'll make a project out of it - Not now though, I'm feeling very closed up and focused. When I was younger I used to think I'd end up like that old lady on great expectations (the movie - I was fascinated by her + I loved that movie). I still kind of think that way....Either that, or I'll end up in some naked commune with no kids and 3 husbands. One can hope.

I am going on a very long hike tomorrow to hot springs that are off in the desert. I have had a lot of wine tonight and must retire to my bed. I leave you with... a picture of my wonderful Nana from Christmas of 2006. Really glad I had the notion to grow out my eyebrows. .... Eyebrows - they are your friends, ladies.

Nana - I miss you I love you I miss you.

A picture from this time, 5 years ago(!) I flew in one of my best friends for her birthday because we haven't spent qt time together in almost 2 years. Here is a picture from when we went to the same hot springs for her 22nd birthday - now 27, we revisit the springs, just the two of us.

***

Image taken by me.

Image by Zoe Wiseman

OMG !!!

It's my last day. I happier than a pig and a shit! Cheers!

* Image from Gerry Oar

All images by me.

I can't wait for the season finale of LOST tonight.

Answers, finally some fricken answers.

Image by Clint Baines.

Notes from Today

About 2.5 weeks ago my boyfriend was in Florida and he called me to see if I heard about the flooding in Nashville because he knew I was looking into flights and car rentals for Bonnaroo.

I was at work on my computer when he called, and since well, no I hadn't heard of it, when we hung up I googled it of course. Then I searched around a few different news sites and still really didn't find too much about it. I remember that only 1 or 2 articles came up and a few pictures. When we spoke later I told him it probably wouldn't be a big deal and that nothing really came up on it, not to worry.

Still not worried about our plans for Bonnaroo, but extremely disappointed/surprised/saddened to see how bad it actually was/is of a situation and how little it was covered in the media. I just read an article that indexed the news coverage of the flooding at 4% of all news topics covered during the week it happened.

The article also linked to this video which blew me away really. I had NO IDEA until just now how bad, or the magnitude, of the flooding. The video references that several people died - that number is actually 30.




On a happier note...

Today I also read about this woman named Sheena and her project called The Uniform Project. I found it extremely inspiring, uplifting, and a true testament that each and every one of us can do a little something to change or impact the world. And she did a really big something with such a small, creative idea(!).
Here - you can click through the calendar on the left and see all the different pictures of her dressing up this one outfit, every day of the year. The ideas people come up with, pretty neat.

And, lastly -

Tonight I went to a lecture given by David Maisel at the Annenberg Space for Photography. And well, thanks to me fact checking as I blog, I just realized what a jackass I can be sometimes. (!) geez...
SO I went to this lecture ALL interested and excited because I had mistaken the date and tonight's lecture with what is now I see, next week's lecture....I thought I was going to hear from David Griffin, the Director of Photography for National Geographic, about "The Insides" of being a photographer for National Geographic. To my dismay, I heard from David Maisel about his project Black Maps, in which he talked about (and showed) his aeriel photographs of man-made landscapes caused by man's destructive nature to exploit the earth with no regard for the environmental consequences.



He focused a lot on Owens Lake, which was diverted to supply drinking water for us Los Angelians. Although it use to have a significant amount of water in it up until 80 odd years ago, it is now a dry lake bed that is filled with sodium sulfate minerals that are harmful to the respiratory system when inhaled. Fun fact - 400 million tons of dust is carried away to nearby cities each year in dust storms. Both pictures are from Owens Lake(not retouched), taken by David Maisel.



So to be clear - I did find the lecture interesting, powerful, and well worth my time -it's just that I had that antsy, so is he NOW going to start talking about working for National Geographic... feeling to me. Which, if I had known what I was in for, I would've been able to fully engage in it without the side thoughts of, this is completely NOT what I expected to hear. David Maisel, David Griffin - eh, go figure.

The one thing he said at the very end, which for me was very disturbing, was that if something does happen millions/billions of years from now to our earth, that sites like these all over the world will serve as some type of archaeological testament to who we were as a society. These sites will be our history, the destruction our legacy - but maybe that knowledge will give the next inhabitants the ability to do it better. Who knows. Anyways, that was not word for word and I am hardly giving his statement justice, but you get the gist.

If I kept your attention this long and you're still reading this, thanks for listening/reading. Goodnight. xo


Image by Mark Lewis - Bonneville Salt Flats, Utah.

Street art by Swoon.

Thanks, BP.

(REUTERS/Carlos Barria)


(REUTERS/Daniel Beltra)


(AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

“This is all part of reinventing technology,” Tom Mueller, a BP spokesman, said on Saturday. “It’s not what I’d call a problem — it’s what I’d call learning, reconfiguring, doing it again.”

Granted, Mueller is not referring to the oil spill itself, rather their
numerous faulty attempts to "fix" the spill - but still - it really IS a problem no matter how you look at it. Screw the faulty solutions, the "some success" at stopping the leak, and the euphemistic "it's not what I'd call a problem" B.S. - Just STOP IT ALREADY. It's been 3+ weeks - containing it is dandy, but how about actually stopping it.

Mrgh!

Wanna Help?

The National Wildlife Federation is now accepting pledges via your mobile device. Text "WILDLIFE" to 20222 to donate $10 to the organization's "on-the-ground volunteer and restoration efforts".

Also, here is a really good article on how you can help as well taken from The Daily Green.

*Quote taken from this NYTimes article.
*See more images here.
*The blog that lead me to these images.

Bent Horizons

Driving along the 5 fwy, one of our many trips back and forth from LA to SF, SF to LA - parked on the side of the road, over a barbed wire fence, and out in the fields. Sun kissed & wind blown, we found ourselves a little piece of free.






TODAY marks my last 2 weeks at Zenith (job). I find myself suppressing squeals of happiness, something that has been estranged from me for awhile. A few days ago I ran into the house, jumped on my bed, and screamed into my pillow - it was after that moment that I realized I haven't been this happy in a long time.

All I can think about is my time away. In the fields, in nature, surrounded by trees, a soundtrack of birds and small creatures, calm peaceful energy, and being with people I love and adore - my soul is yearning for it all.

I'm trying not to get so caught up in leaving that I miss enjoying the few weeks left here in LA with the people I love here. The present moment does still exist and I'm daily trying to find something beautiful in it.

I am somewhat afraid/interested to see the changes in me that may occur after 5 months of the woods, seclusion, nomadic behavior, living out of backpack, having no alarm clock, cell phone, internet, etc - hopefully I don't come back a crazy lady that can't handle the hustle and bustle that is Los Angeles. I doubt it though, I'm pretty adaptable by nature - and quiet as it's kept, I do love living in this city as crazy as it can be sometimes.

Who knows. My mind is wandering, trying to connect the dots of the future - make sense of a path that hasn't shown itself to me fully.

Universe, it's in your hands - take care of me please. <3

A dear friend called me today - we haven't talked in about 9 months (for no specific reason) - it was really comforting to hear his voice, his plans, his progress. We have witnessed each others lives for so long and been a part of so many of the bad moments that it was great to share in such a positive one today. He moves to Portland the day I leave for PA to kickoff my journeys.

Awesome.

Okay -

I'm done sharing.

xo

Images by me

Image by The Feisty Sushi

Poem #3 by Sonia Sanchez

I gather up

each sound

you left behind

and stretch them

on our bed.

each nite

I breathe you

and become high.

Palm Springs Recap

Back in March I had the pleasure of being one of the models at the Palm Springs Photo Festival for Frank Ockenfels workshop. It was a pretty awesome experience - probably the funnest/most enjoyable workshop I've ever modeled for (I generally try to avoid these assignments like the plague).

I had no idea who Frank was before I showed up for the workshop, but to my surprise I knew his images very well. I figure most of us have seen this, this, or this -- but anywhoo, Frank was great and full of good energy. Here are just a few of the pictures I got back from the attendees.

Photos taken by Jeff Lipshitz






Photo taken by Jim Newberry

Just quit now, you'll feel better.

An article on how your office chair is killing you - here.

I've been lagging, I know, but I have many updates so stay tuned.
(Broken Social Scene in SF!! A-mazing!)

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But let's catch up from the beginning, awhile back I posted this, and well, I finally took my ass to go see it last night.

Thoughts? Brilliant.

I truly didn't know what to expect and I wasn't expecting much more than just a cool, interesting movie that showed me good street art and offered a peek into the life of. Not only was this movie All of that, it was intelligently made, funny, thought provoking, and just damn brilliant. I loved it.

The irony within the art world never ceases to amaze me. I can say nothing more other than you really should go see this movie.

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Lastly, this picture makes me uncontrollably happy. Read more about it here. Love and safe travels to my girl Jessi who's headed out to meet her next adventure.